For Immediate Release:
Washington,
June 32, 1967 (Special).....The mad stampede of circus elephants here last week
was viewed today by Pogo, presidential dark-possum, as only the first sign of a
growing unrest among animals in general and elephants in particular.
"Elephants," said the Swamp Candidate, "should have rights as
equal as anybody. Maybe even equaller."
The Okefenokee Possum was indignant on the
subject of working conditions and labor practices generally in the elephant
business. "Political symbols deserve a special Fair Practices Act of their
own," he said, adding that his administration, if installed in power, would
put through a bill immediately for seven dollars and nineteen cents. "It's
for laundry," said Pogo. "My private dirty linen can be wash in full
view of the public. I have nothing to hide."
If things are bad in the elephant business,
there is also some concern about the monkeys. Monkey business has fallen off
sharply in what, for many other trades, is actually a boom year. Trial balloons,
for example, have been booming throughout many sections of the country.
"We have just recently exploded a trial
balloon over the island of New South Georgia in the Caspian," said a
spokesman for the Pogo Party. Results indicate that the entire Expeditionary
Force sent down to observe the detonation potential was wiped out. The success
of the project is therefore in some doubt. Efforts are being made to send down
all opposition candidates for the next explosion. An unbiased first-hand account
of the blast is extremely desirable.
"No candidate worth the gunpowder to blow
him out of office can fail to cooperate in this manner, and the American People
will watch closely and with great interest the attitude of the opposition
leaders to this open, red-blooded challenge. Pogo, unfortunately, will have a
speaking date at the Cumquat Festival in Upper Darby, Pa., at the time, but
undoubtedly will send a message expressing his deep concern and heartfelt
interest in the experiments."
(Copyright 1956 Walt Kelly)
