FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE
Owl City, New Braska. June 59, 1935
(Special)..... The cry of "Hoot Mon!" rang across this prairie town
today as a convention of Owls, many with decided traces of scotch in their
brogans, endorsed the Okefenokee Possum, Pogo, for Superintendent of Garbage in
Beanfry, North Kadota. A brooding group of Liberals, owls who refused to give a
hoot, lodged a strong protest movement on the grounds that the job had
originally been offered to a pig. "You do not have to be a pig to be a
pig!" pointed out ahem Koffigan, prominent garbage lobbyist. "We
offered this job to the best man available. We believe that so far as general
"pig" ability is concerned, Pogo is about as piggy as they come."
What effect this new demand on the popular
Possum's time will have is at this point somewhat debatable. It was rumored that
Pogo, if elected President of the U.S. would appoint a Federal Garbage Counter
as one means of retaining his constituency in Owl City and in Beanfry. "We
are proud of the activity shown in Owl City and in Beanfry," declared Pogo
in an off-the-cuff address before garbage workers. "We have seen other
places wrestle with the ever-present problem of garbage and we have seen a great
many vast communities come a cropper on the issue. But when we look at Owl City,
we see a real dump. Owl City can be proud. And Beanfry has a
collection second to none. Each city has an atmosphere of its own."
Authorities and others familiar with
parliamentary law are both plussed and non-plussed on the subject. Some have
pointed out that if Pogo were elected President there would be nothing to
prevent him from resigning his duties as Chief of State to take over the job in
Beanfry. Garbage Producers throughout the world have their noses to the wind,
savoring the political breezes. As one, who would not give his name, remarked:
"It's Chicago all over again!"
(Copyright 1956, Walt Kelly)
