FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE
Washington,
May 87½ (By Special Correspondent) --- Pogo Possum's chances for the Presidency
were thrown into considerable doubt today when objections to his candidacy were
voiced by an influential group in an alley just northeast of the Capitol
Building. An altercation during which an elderly gentleman's hat was punctured
started when a voice vote showed that only three percent of those present could
spell, much less pronounce, Okefenokee.
Political experts in the area have for a long
time been of the opinion that the swampland candidate's age is somewhat against
him. "It is not a matter of discrimination," explained one statesman,
who shall be nameless. "It is a simple matter of law and arithmetic."
It was pointed out by a disorderly minority that law and arithmetic are not
simple matters. However, the general consensus of the group as it proceeded in
flight through a picturesque section of the mall was that Pogo is not old enough
to legally stand for the presidency. Student organizations have, or course, for
a long time been of the opinion that everybody in the country has to stand for
the presidency, whether old enough or not. This latter aspect was somewhat
obscured in today's discussion when several of those participating tumbled into
the lagoon and had to be rescued by a visiting troop of Girl Scouts from North
Dakota. It was felt there might be a trend in the northwest indicated by the
action.
Copyright 1956, Walt Kelly